i see you.......

every magazine that comes to my mailbox with a sweet little laughing girl gracing the cover. and i see you.

every little girl melting down at target with her stressed out mom. and i see you.

every pink bike at the store, baby doll on the floor at a friend's house or purple flower headband. and i see you.

every little girl in pigtails on the soccer field i see. and i see you.

every girl birthday party i go to and every baby shower i attend. and i see you.

singing about heaven on sunday morning. and i see you.

the empty chair at the kitchen table. and i see you.

your big brother's tears of missing his sister in heaven. and i see you.

the future that i walk into each day, without you. and i still see you.

everywhere i go, i see you. you are in everything.

had you lived, this fall you would be four. like so many of those little ones that are turning four around me. your cousin, your friend, your neighbor...all four. all turning four and turning into little people from little ones. four years. four years they are, they get to be. and four years you would be. four years without you it's been... they get to turn four. yet in all of them, i see you.

i see you in your daddy's laugh and in your brother's smile. and i see you in rain storms and bright beams of sunshine that literally seem to break my eyes. i see you in dragonflies that float about and i see you in songs. i see you in crying and i see you in joy, laughter and love....

yes you WERE. you were then...but somehow, because of God's infinite grace and mercy, you are still here now. you are everywhere for me. you are IN my heart, you are my heart and i carry you with me everywhere.....

in everything i see HIM, so in everything HE lets me see you......