celebrating Easter!

a heartbeat.

sounds so simple.

but i have seen TWO many screens with no heartbeats on it to know it is a special miraculous thing to see one in all it's glory.

ian and i are expecting (currently..i know to talk like that now, ha) and went to our 6 week ultrasound to check for viability and a search out a heartbeat...

the last time i entered that room, my heart was broken....

the time before that, the last ultrasound i had was seeing sydney, laying still in my body with no heartbeat....

so, i really walked in, expecting the worst...preparing myself for the heartache of no heartbeat....

yes, we have Hope...but God's will is not our own and He chooses paths for us we would NEVER chose for ourselves sometimes...like losing a baby or two......so, i prayed and i hoped but i knew better...that God is God and He ordained whatever would happen in that little dark room yesterday...Good Friday...a day that means death for the Christian celebrating the Easter weekend....the death of our Savior but the idea of new life coming soon on the third day...NEW life, He gave us...

and new life, we saw yesterday.

we have no idea what the future holds for this little one. what turns our road will take....

but we know God is sovereign. and we know, for now, we are overjoyed to be excited about the possibility again, of our family growing.....it's hard as we celebrate Easter without our sweet girl, but we are more aware than ever of what GIFT God gave us in the meaning of Easter and what that means to us in that light.....we will see our precious Sydney one day again and there will be no more tears.

thanks for your prayers and love and support....it's gonna be a long next 8 months or so....seeing as my babies come months before their due date, it could be even shorter!

Risen Christ, give us Hope..give us Peace.