coverage.

i don't know what it means that i pull things out of my scattered brain this way...where it comes from or how it happens...or even what you want to call it..i hear a john mayer song and i find a TRUTH in it and it speaks to me, i watch curious george and i hear God whisper to me a reminder of his promise...maybe i want so desperately to find His TRUTH in my life everywhere that i somehow find it in everything that comes across my senses...smells, sounds, etc. i filter most everything that comes through my eyes and ears through this spiritual funnel right now, that is my crazy mind trying to make sense of stuff..maybe despair and suffering cause you to reach for any life raft that is floating out in front of you..like seeing a mirage of an island ahead because you want to see that it is there even if it is not or it is far far away...


i am watching tv last night and a commercial comes on...i am not paying too much attention to the content until the end and the guy says..."Just because you have insurance doesn't mean you are protected.." somehow, the thing he said at the end was louder to me than the first part of the commercial, it got my attention...wow, i thought. what good is that? why the hell do we have insurance then? what an awful commercial, that does not make me want to buy your insurance...then i repeated what he said in my mind, then out loud, then again in my mind....if not protected, than why do we have insurance i asked myself. the commercial came on again later and i payed attention to the rest of the content and saw that he was talking about accidents will happen but you can be prepared....to be prepared for when an accident comes...just because we pay our premiums doesn't mean some joe-schmo isn't going to hit my car or steal it...it just means, just in case the worst does happen, i am covered. not protected from it happening, but covered. insurance covers you in case of life happening. thanks all state...light bulb!

Jesus Christ is my insurance...my belief in Him is my investment, my premium. i make the investment and i have coverage as soon as i whisper the words, " i TRUST You, You are the Only way".."i believe in You and what you did for man."

just because i have this insurance does not mean i am protected though. i am not protected from bad things happening, the worst of what life and this world offers does not stop at my door because i have my Holy Spirit insurance card...i think before sydney died, i thought it did. i thought, surely "my payments (faith)" will keep me protected and secure from the worst because He loves me. He does love me, but He did not promise me "this world" and a carefree life, He promised me eternity which is the new earth, this earth now still leaves me unprotected from Life yet my belief in Him means i am covered when the storms do come, right?

when the dark comes overhead and the sky falls out over you, your insurance payments (faith) prepare you for it and mean you are covered and taken care of. so, if it i look at all of life this way...i can see that accidents (life) will happen, i cannot be protected from that obvious possibility..but i do trust that my insurance company (God) will cover me in case i need it. and i have to keep making payments (pursuing God) if i want to be covered in the event of something awful. somehow this makes so much sense to me when i think of it this way. why can't i read scripture this way and go, right, i get it? no, it takes an all state commercial to flip that light on for me...

however i come about to understanding these things is quite comical for me...like i am reading "God's word for Dummies"..as if this is the only way He can get my attention...what ever the case, i get it. and it leaves me humbled and waiting for more. and as long as you guys can be patient with me and my unraveling mind and eureka moments and laugh with me, i will keep sharing them...