tomorrow....

...going to the ultrasound appointment tomorrow at 11am...

pretty much know what to expect...the numbers and levels say it all. my hopes for this baby are dashed and weary.

i DO know, that Jesus is the same as when i walk in that room as when i walk out, no matter the outcome.

i DO know that God is sovereign over all things...even over 3 best friends losing their 3 babies in one month.

i DO trust that God will see us through this, another season of suffering and trial and testing....

i DO know that i am EXTREMELY blessed with precious family and friends that support us, a loving husband that hurts with me but will fight like hell to keep pushing forward and hoping again, one day soon....to pray to keep growing our family again.

i DO know that no matter what words i hear tomorrow, that God has granted me peace....a peace i can't explain or analyze. it's just there....covering my heart and soul like a healing balm.

i DO know that sydney's life and death touched me, taught me and stretched me to prepare me for this moment, this coming appointment and what is to come over the next week or so....

i am ready. ready for rest. ready for this roller coaster to stop. whether i get off the track tomorrow or not, i just need answers and we need to move forward...and heal. once again, more healing.

i AM thankful that our God is near and never too far to be our healer as well as our Father.....