sydney's grace...

i think i am coming up for air....back into the light.

the last few weeks have proven very anxiety filled and emotion laden.

i miss my friend adam. i am missing our daughter sydney. i am scared for our son henry. i am overwhelmed with the fourness somedays of our son liam. just a lot.

as we eek closer to sydney's day, 3 weeks from now gestationally, our nerves are on overdrive.

my fear and my mistrust have seemed louder in my head and i have not done a good job of replacing all that junk with truth. i have selfishly and mostly out of fear been frozen the past two weeks and kept to myself and just tried to survive each day..each day i go to bed in my own bed is a day i am not in the hospital. each day i wake up with henry moving around is another day our child is still alive. i go back and forth from fear to gratefulness every hour.

God have mercy. please sustain. you are our ONLY hope!