missing you...

i miss you tonight sweet girl...liam called us a family tonight..."liam, momma, daddy, emmett and sydney..our family", he said. as much as it made me proud and honored that he included you, it made my heart swell with hurt as i looked up at your precious urn and back down at your brother dancing from the couch to the chair to the floor, spinning around with joy...back up at you, your picture, your urn, the figurine there of a momma holding her baby closely to her heart, in her arms..like the day i met you...and i looked back at liam, alive with life and back at you and it wasn't the family i wanted, i wanted you here with us...but it is the family that God has given us. i miss you so much, my arms hurt with the weight of your absence...i long to know that your life made a difference here on earth...that your name was written in His book of Life for a purpose..that your small precious life will not only affect others here on earth for "good" but that your death and your story will lead to a life saved in His glory, that your life will save another's for eternity...i pray i see that in my lifetime...it is a selfish request, but i long to see your life and your death result in a Kingdom Homecoming, not just your absence from our family here...i miss you dearly and love you with all that i have within me....come see me in my dreams, precious girl....