Just Plain Me

I dreaded this day. This would be the last ultimate sign that I was done with pregnancy, postpartum and all of it. I was told that I would "start" again somewhere in between 6-8 weeks after delivery...I prayed this day would not come until after her due date so I would at least feel still "in the game" so to speak, still in a process, or part of the privileged club women get to join when the stick turns pink..Don't ask me to make sense of that, because I can't. But today, I am reminded that my body is done and returning back to "normal". I have to let go, I know. Don't anyone dare tell me that, I know it. But, today I get to be pissed. Today I get to be sad that I am just plain me again. Back to the monthly cycle and all the crap that comes with it. I should be shopping for baby blankets and diapers right now instead of damn tampons. Don't bother trying to comfort me on this one or feel like you need to say important words in a response. Just let it be. It is what it is.