Pictures...

I just got a confirmation email that my Costco pictures have been shipped. The first trip in person was awful. The lady felt so sorry for me and didn't know what to say....so I opted this time to have my latest pictures shipped. My pictures of our daughter. All different sizes. Just in case. And for her service. The service that we haven't planned and don't know when we are having because we just can't seem to get there yet. Actually finishing a conversation about what to do, where to have it, etc. has not been very fruitful. A counselor we saw even told us to take our time and not rush it. This delicate subject in our conversations gets changed before we can realize that we secretly have changed the subject. Pictures. Uploaded to Costco just like that. Except that the photo tech will go from processing the Johnson's Family Christmas to Little Billy's 5th Birthday to my what-looks-like-sleeping-but-doesn't-seem-like-it photos of our too still infant daughter. I am so pissed that I am not waiting on fun pictures of my belly, swollen to all kingdom come, days away from delivery...pissed that I am not waiting on pictures of Sydney in her coming home outfit...pissed that my pictures will be looked at with a sigh or sadness instead of someone telling me how beautiful she is or how her eyes match mine.....We didn't even get to see her eyes opened. That poor photo tech didn't know what they had coming. Oh, well. What am I to do? I want my pictures.