Friday, January 11, 2008
Little Ears
Liam had a hard time watching me so sick while pregnant with Sydney. He went to almost all the labs and doctors appointments with me and watched them poke and prod and use machines on my belly. He watched me as I checked my blood sugars almost 3x a day, saw Mommy get sick in the toilet the first 4 months with morning sickness, and even accidentally walked in on me while I was doing my Heparin shots once or twice....Liam saw mommy in bed a whole lot more than normal and then saw Mommy go away to the hospital for almost a week when she was "sick"....this child is so sensitive to the word sick because that is all he has known of his Mommy this past year...night terrors and change of behavior have followed this fear that he has taken on last year and he has had to deal with things no 3 yr old should have to....so I should not have been surprised at his words this morning while at the pharmacy. We walked past the blood pressure machine and he said, "Look, Mommy, that is where you give the doctor your arm." And then once out to the car, he said.."Momma, we went to the pharmacy to check your blood sugars, right?".....my poor sweet child....I knew he was watching and listening all along while I was sick but I was still not ready to hear him talk like that.....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You know, Alyssa, what Liam is experiencing and feeling may not be so bad. We feel bad for him, but he is learning how to be sensitive and caring. Aidan and Alexander have had so many health issues since birth, but Aidan, in particular, is so sensitive to when Mamaw and Grandaddy are sick. We don't want to scare them, but they do need to learn how to love and care as Jesus would. We got a beautiful statue from a friend which has an little angel in the palm of a hand with the saying "Be gentle with the hearts of those you love." The giver of this gift lost her "Angel" at 6 months. She encouraged me just to take each moment as it comes. Try doing something, anything, each day. The hurt and agony will not completly go away, but you will, in God's and your own time, be able to move into what the Lord has planned all along. Liam doesn't really understand our pain, but he senses that all is not right and in his own sweet way has been able to minister to you like no one else. God has gifted him with a tenderness like His own child.I thank God for him and your Ian with his love and support and will continue to pray for comfort for you. Comfort is the way it feels when you lie down in your bed at night under clean, fresh sheets with a fresh white down comforter over you with your sleep number just right. God, I pray for this for Alyssa, Ian and Liam tonight. Mamaw
liam is a special little boy; his sensitivity is a gift (like yours!) of course you and i know that having a sensitive, tender heart doesn't make life easy - we hurt harder and do everything else harder and with more passion. i don't think he is scared about all of this - i think you have handled it very openly and compassionately with him. we often project our own fears and feelings onto our children - i think liam just simply understands in his own little child-like way. i also believe God is protecting him and keeping him in the safety of His hands. I believe that He is sending angels who supernaturally will care for Liam in a special way right now. the bond you and liam have is so wonderful to watch - even from the beginning when he was a brand new E.T. looking 4 pounder. the depth of understanding in his eyes even as a newborn was something that everyone commented on - even strangers. your tenderness and sweetness have become so much a part of Liam - just the way you talk to him and explain things to him and are affectionate with him. i am always blown away by the spontaneous bursts of affection he shows - and his sweet voice and the manners you've taught him and and and.....i pray that you find NEW joys in Liam. that the relationship you already have with him will become even stronger and more rewarding (even amidst the "terrible threes" - why doesn't anyone tell us that the terrible threes are every bit as volatile as the terrible twos! lol!) i love you so much and am so proud of you and know that after the darkness WILL come light. give it time and feel everything you have to feel. Patiently, tearfully, God is waiting. love, m^m
Post a Comment