Blessed...

We are so blessed with the many friends and family we have all over the country, especially now when we need them all the most...our South Carolina family, our Austin family, our Albuquerque family and church family and of course, our own Dallas family....I even have had friends that have come out of the wood work from years past who have blessed us with prayers and cards and love upon hearing of our loss. Family. I am not sure how you get through this without them. Most friends, I consider just like family.

I have made wonderful friends through church, ones that have comforted us with meals, with cards, with prayer, and sweet notes in the mail and hugs...sending scripture and encouragement in emails, leaving messages and invitations to play dates with the kids...homemade meals and gift cards...all such a blessing.

Our family, even miles away in Dallas, has been a great source of comfort to us as well. Cards, emails, voicemails left because they know we aren't up for talking that day...flowers, poems....my brother, who was also at my bedside from a quick plane ride and was in the trenches with us those first few days, calls to check up on me at least once a week, to tell me that he hasn't forgotten, that he won't forget, that he is thinking of me...his dear wife, my sister-in-law but also friend, who shaped Sydney's urn in her heart first and then her hands, for us, because we asked...we asked her to use her gift to honor her niece and wanted to include her in the process and we wanted something special, custom made for our little girl...she will never truly know what that gift means to us, although we know how hard it was for her to make it in the midst of her pain....both our parents who have prayed and cried for us, grieved the loss of their granddaughter with tears and sorrow....my parents, who lost their first child, just as ours, stillborn at 8 months, knowing all too well how our hearts feel and wish they could take the hurt away....my mom, who had the daunting task in packing away Sydney's stuff for me, because I just couldn't...she cried the whole time...possibly even cussed a lot in my closet too with each tiny outfit and pink blanket she folded...my mom, who held me and rocked me and laid with me on Christmas morning when I couldn't get out of bed, my mom, who promises to buy me a pink rose bush, once the ground thaws...my dad who calls me often just to hear my voice and tell me that he loves me and is proud of me and thinks I am strong (boy- i have him fooled, ha)...oh, how he wishes he could just be my dad and fix it all for me....my in-laws who call to check on us and send us cards and call to check on Liam and tell us to hang in there and remind us every week that they are thinking about us and praying for us....we are blessed. We truly are.

My close circle of friends here, the ones who have seen me in no makeup and in jammies and glasses, the ones I can be real with and cuss with if I need to....the ones who I allow myself to "weep" with, snot and all in my driveway until 2am, the one who fell on her garage floor in tears upon hearing about Sydney, screaming why?.....the one who always made me special food while I was pregnant with diabetes and also watched my child for me at last minutes notice while I lay in a hospital bed losing our daughter, who offers all the time to watch Liam now for me to give me a break, she and her husband were the first of only a few visitors we had in the hospital....the ones who have helped clean my house's when we have moved over and over again, the one that finally got me to the gym and is helping me regain strength through mind, body and spirit....and a lot of venting and listening. the ones who have had to come to the hospital twice now, to find my babies born too early....the ones that saw my own son in the nursery before I even did, because I was still in surgery.....the ones who have gone through so much crap with me the past 5 years here and love me still...my friend here, who is Liam's second mommy and loves him fiercely like her own, the one who got to meet and hold our sweet girl with us, I will always treasure that memory with her, of them together...the one who finishes my sentences and knows my parents and loves them like her own, the one that's let me and Liam come over to her house during the day countless times the past two months just so I don't have to be alone sometimes....I love these women, they are my sisters and they are a gift to me. I am blessed with my friends here, no doubt. I could NOT have gotten through the last two months without them.

But I must also bring attention to two other friends. One is the precious friend, of 26 years, who flew to my bedside when Sydney died. She dropped everything to come be with me, be there for me, sit with me, make me laugh with 26 yr old inside jokes and be that familiar "baby blanket" friend who feels like an old comfy sweater. She is the friend for whom, I dropped everything to be with, almost 10 years ago, when she lost her mom. She is the friend who came out to move me home when I had to leave college and "start over" with my life when I lost my way...she helped scrape me up and carry me home with my folks to heal...The other sweet friend, of almost 20 years, is the friend who planted this tree today. The friend who took her own daughter today and bought a tree to plant in Sydney's memory in her very own backyard....(She is the friend who also lives in Texas, hence the fact that she could even plant something in the ground in February, it was like 20 degrees here today, snow still on the ground)....She is the friend who cried with me on the phone hours after losing Sydney, so many miles apart but her voice felt like that same comfy sweater wrapping me up in love...she is the friend who prayed me through that awful weekend on her knees. She is the friend whom after hearing we might not be able to have more kids, told me of her ironic dream the night after Sydney died, the night she dreamed she was our surrogate....ha! She is the friend who held me in an Austin store parking lot crying, where we met half-way to meet over Christmas just to say goodbye, and would not let me go, would not let go of her grip on me...She is the friend who looked at the sweet pictures of our Sydney Grace with me and looked up with puddled tears flowing down her face, saying.."Lyss, I had no idea..I had no idea she was this big, this whole, this perfect....I am so sorry....She is so real, look at this...Why?" She is the same friend for whom I dropped everything to be with upon the news of her losing her dad years ago. There is a very unique bond that the three of us share, can't tell you why or how so easily, it would take too long, just know that it's there. We will be there for each other to the day we die...I know that for sure.

These two women are some of the most beautiful parts of my past... growing up..making mistakes, awkwardly trying to figure out who I am, where I fit in...sometimes we would like to forget our teenage years...but those growing pains were made sweeter with these two friends by my side....we established a friendship, the three of us, years and years ago and still would drop anything to be there for one another...we know we can just be there for each other with a look or a hug, just a phone call away....there are a few people that make my dad tear up when he sees them, I absolutely love that about my dad...you might never know that meeting him, but his heart is tender and he knows what these two friends mean to me...these are two of that few, that bring my dad to tears when he sees them...his other daughters in a way...my sisters I never had....but do have because of them....I love you both, my dear sweet friends....Thank you for your love, for flying to be with me and for planting this sweet amazing tree....All these things for me, because you loved my daughter...you love our Sydney. I couldn't wait for her to meet ya'll, my sisters...I love you.