sweet feet

i found the sweetest tiniest little plaid baby mary-jane shoes tonight at target. i would have bought them in a heartbeat for her to wear at easter. i even pondered the idea of buying them anyway..really, it actually crossed my mind and i picked them up to look at them..they were adorable. they were so me and my style and how i wanted to dress my little girl. not velvet or patent leather or fancy frills, but hippy-chic and a little tomboy. i was so excited, once to be able to start shopping for girly things instead of all the boring boy stuff that is offered to us moms. but now, well i looked at those shoes tonight like they had a "prohibited for Alyssa" tag on them. like i was not allowed to buy them. i had no one to buy them for anymore. i wasn't part of the girl "club" any longer....it felt like temptation. recovering alcoholics don't go to bars, why do i still go to target? i would have bought those shoes for you syd....your sweet feet would have looked precious in them.