love.

oh, syd....how i wish i could have dressed you in pink and red today and showered you in kisses and warm blankets and a cheesy stuffed animal, or a first valentines bib like i made liam wear when he was a newborn...how i wish i could set the table pretty for you, with valentines and sweet cards and surprises for you and liam like gram used to do for me and chris....liam could have made you a "balemtime" and we could have taken pictures of you and your brother, in those "posed for mommy" type pictures you would have grown to hate...i guess every little first holiday here without you is going to be tough for your mommy. i just wish i had you here with me, with us....i miss you and i love you. love you more than any words could ever express. love you so much, my heart hurts.