sandpaper.....

I hate sanding. I absolutely have no patience for sanding. God bless wood workers, because I cannot stand sanding.

Ian and I were extremely blessed by some new friends last week. They were in need of a bigger table for their growing family and were getting a new table and simply gave us their old one. Our table we have right now is a sweet table we picked up at a thrift store in Columbia when we were engaged for $30.00. We didn't even have an apartment yet for it, but it was our very first purchase together and it was very special so we stored it at Greg and Jolie's in their garage until we got married...(thanks, guys). Ian worked really hard to refinish the "vintage" little table and made it look like new...it has given us many good years but has become quite rickety and unsafe lately and we were wondering how we would have the money to replace it....

Alas, a blessing...a gorgeous farm table that was given to us as a gift...free. I love it. But, to have it the color we like, there would be a lot of work needed to get it there....So, this past week we have been working on refinishing this new table in our garage. Ian stripped the table and we got to work, enter the gazillion hours of sanding...sanding the top, the tedious legs and sides of the table, did I mention the legs?....I am so impatient. I wanted to help but after a bit, my hands were sore and tired and I was bored quite frankly...I knew that in order for the table to take the stain and look right, it needed the precise sanding and required much time to prepare it...

Ian-he has a great work ethic, he just gets it done...

Me- I wanted to skip the monotonous sanding and I just wanted it in my dining room already, set up so I could set it all pretty with plates and flowers....

I wanted the finished product but I didn't want to do the work....The work included me getting dirty, sanded wood flying about in my nose, dry hands, sore knuckles...I even tried the electric sander for a bit but the good old fashioned sandpaper seemed to work the best on all the grooves so I was back to working the paper instead. I sat there, complaining and whining, silly-like of course, to Ian...I just want it done, I don't want to sit out here in this cold garage and keep at this for hours...I am ready for it to be done and move on to another project...sooo A.D.D. I am...I am really good at starting projects, but not so great at finishing them...I get bored.

I kept thinking, if I don't see another sheet of this scratchy sandpaper, it won't be soon enough...I hate sanding.

Then I thought, I hate the sanding that is taking place in my life, on my heart right now. I am being refinished and it's painful and I am wanting to fast forward to the finished product....I am already tired and it's only the beginning..it's only been 2 months...

God, do you hear me? I hate sanding...it hurts and it takes too long...I am hurting. I am broken. I am tired. I am lazy. I am tired of this tedious work it takes to heal and be refined, somedays I don't want to have to work at it all, being "ok" -because some days I am the farthest thing from "ok"....so while my heart is under construction and I will be a work in progress for some time now, we at least now have a pretty finished table sitting in our dining room and I don't have to look at another piece of sandpaper anytime soon...and I appreciate our table even more than a brand new table because of all the time and hard work we put into it....I know, I know...I see there is clearly a silver lining in this analogy...I am getting there. Just not there yet.